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jmarks's blog

The Need for Influence In Relationships

I wanted to continue the conversation about the need for influence in relationships.  The concept of influence or power in a relationship has the potential to create barriers to effect communication for both partners.  When one person has a high need for influence the other person will need to be ready to push back when the sense of being over managed is apparent.  The need for control has perhaps been the single most detrimental aspect of relationships for some time.  Most people begin relationships with a low need for influen

Courageous Conversation

 When one is working on a long term relationship there are always those moments of tension and conflict.  We all have the ability to find ways to hurt each other, but often this is especially harmful when it is from your partner and best friend.  We all will need to say things that at times will require a courageous conversation with our partner.  This gets even more difficult when one person in the relationship is conflict avoidant.  Avoiding conflict will have the reverse effect ultimately because the tension builds and finally the resentment sets in as a barrier

Communication issues in relationships

Perhaps the most frequent issue with communication in a relationship is the "hard start up".  This occurs when one person has been thinking about what they want to say all day and as soon as they see their partner they deliver the conclusion of the conversation that has been transpiring in their thoughts all day.  The most common reaction in their partner will be defensiveness which pushes the anxiety level in the room to the top.  The confusion about what is happening will lead to an argument because they have not communicated.  The partner who has been thinking about w

Healthy Relationships in the Family

This is the first in a series of Blog entries designed to help you think about your relationships in the family.  We thought we would start by talking about the marital relationship since it forms the base for any couple.  We receive a number of calls each week from people who are feeling a great deal of stress in their relationship with their spouse or significant other.  The common theme is "we just don't communicate anymore."  This concern has many meanings from, “we can't ever agree” to “we can't talk about things” that are possibly going to create conflict.  If


 

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